She does not technically belong to me, but to the owner of the house I live in, who has been away on vacation for the past month. Thus, I have been her primary source of food, water, love, and non-autonomous grooming.
She likes to walk on me, knead me, and lie on my chest.
This sometimes makes it hard to breathe, as she is (and I say this with the love of Christ) something of a fat cat.
She also likes to bring me presents. Last night, I woke up to the sound of crunching. At first I thought, "Oh, that's Abby eating her crunchy food." Then I thought, "Wait, I didn't give her crunchy food tonight..." And then I realized that she was eating a mouse.
I figured I probably didn't want to witness that process, so I stayed in bed and tried to go back to sleep. No dice. After the crunching stopped, and Abby apparently left the room, I finally had to turn on the light, get out of bed (very carefully, so as not to step on the corpse), put on my glasses, and remove the head and tail and other remains of her midnight snack into the garbage. (Be glad that I did not have the presence of mind to take a photo.) Then I went downstairs to get the Resolve carpet cleaner (to clean up the blood). Sprayed that on the carpet, waited the requisite five minutes, then blotted and wiped it clean. I washed my hands, then firmly shut the door (to keep any further snacks out of my room) and went back to bed.
